just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
