I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
