Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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