She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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