I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
