eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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