Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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