We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
