Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's never too late to be topless.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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