i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
