she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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