ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Houston, we have a blender
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
