we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
