is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize