Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
