Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We are two peas in an std pod
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
