Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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