It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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