YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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