just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
