Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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