Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
