this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
