I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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