I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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