I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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