can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How's work?
Spinning.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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