I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
