You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
