# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my shit smells like andre
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize