I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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