It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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