Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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