Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
