Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
