I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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