Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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