physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
