Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize