mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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