Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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