it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
