I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
