We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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