Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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