i want to swaddle you in tequila
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
