Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
