Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
