YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my shit smells like andre
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
