Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
