kristin has been a bad kristin
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
