Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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