i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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