So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
