Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
