When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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