knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
