I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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